Happy Mother's Day---NOT

 

I began a Mother's Day post yesterday--only it was intended to be aimed at people who have a shitty mother. I knew what I was going to say and everything; but as I got into the memories, it just shut me down. For all the good mothers out there, it seems there are many more who aren't; I ended up getting all depressed and scrapped the whole thing. 

Mother's Day is painful for me now; although I myself am a mother and I've worked so hard to be the opposite of the mother I knew, still I am always reminded that I have no one to look up to who fills that hole in my heart. My mother is dead, although her body still breathes and others call her by that title. Every time I think I'm done grieving over the loss of something I now know I never really had--my mother's unconditional love--I am hit once again. I guess that pain will always be lurking, ready to make itself known.