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Pandora

Friday, August 30, 2013


Meet Pandora; she is a yellow Blood python. Isn't she gorgeous?? We've had her for almost 2 months now; Aaron bought her from ShitCo the pet store; there was a male blood in there with her. Both were malnourished, cold (they didn't even have the heat lamps turned on the day Aaron went to see them) and covered in mites. They told us that she hadn't eaten in 2 days; we found out the next day from a friend who bought the other snake that they hadn't eaten the entire time they had been at the store! Those snakes had been there for weeks with no food. The other snake died the day after he was purchased of dehydration. THAT is ridiculous!! I am so mad I could spit. 

 Bloods won't eat when they're sick or stressed, so we didn't worry *too* much because she was still at an ok weight. Well, he brought her home after holding her in the store--he said the other snake was aggressive and kept biting everybody but Pandora was sweet. Until she got here, then she refused to let Aaron anywhere near her. She can just hear his voice and she'll start lunging in his direction. Only I can touch her without getting lit up (and she did get me twice, lol once on my birthday). It has really hurt Aaron's feelings because she was supposed to be his baby, not mine. We are pretty sure that she was mistreated by males up there at the store because she lunges at the neighbor guy too. The reason she bit me on my birthday was because I had listened to an audiobook for hours and a man was narrating it. She stayed pissed off for 3 whole days. Poor baby.  

 Only 2 days ago were we finally able to get a fuzzy rat down her--I've been feeding her liquid vitamins this whole time down her throat with a curved plastic dental syringe. THAT has been an "experience" to say the least!! We are going to feed her again today; she has gotten so thin that she'll die if I don't get her bulked up ASAP. I went on GoFundMe and made an account so I can start a snake rescue. Aaron and I were going to do it, but now it's going to be just me if I can raise enough money. So here is the link, please go check it out and spread the word. I don't want to see any more snakes abused and mistreated! Thanks for the help.  :)
Link:  http://www.gofundme.com/448fco

Look at her little face--how could anyone mistreat her?? She just got vitamins before I took this photo, and that's the face she makes, LOL. Those vitamins smell bad, and they must taste pretty nasty, too!


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A Dear Abby Letter


 http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8242/8456578256_b2f4a3a529.jpg


I saw this letter on Dear Abby and wanted to post it here because I have some thoughts to share with the person who wrote it. Here it is:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two beautiful, hardworking daughters
   we brought up as loving, respectful parents. Recently, "Kellie," 25,
   got tattoos covering her right arm, leg and ankle as well as her
   shoulders. They are visible unless she wears long sleeves and long
   pants.


   This has ruined our relationship because it shows how little she thinks
   of us as parents, and how disrespectful of our feelings she is to put
   the tattoos where everyone can see them. She knows we don't like
   tattoos because we have mentioned it to her and voiced our
   disappointment when she got the first one on her ankle.


   I can't sleep at night or look at my daughter knowing how little she
   cares about our feelings. I feel it's a slap in the face that she
   doesn't honor, respect or love us. What do you think? -- BESIDE MYSELF
   IN FORT WORTH


First of all, how DARE you try to dictate to a grown woman what she can and cannot do with her own body! You raised her but she's beyond your control now. Her body is her own and you have NO right to try to shame her. Her tattoos have NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with her. Who gives an airborne rodent's rear what YOU think? You actually wrote that the tattoos have ruined your relationship with your "beautiful hardworking daughter"---um, no bitch, YOU are doing that all on your own. If you are so superficial that you would disown your own flesh and blood because of some ink? You don't DESERVE to have the love of your children. You don't get that she is still the same person she always was.

You see, I know a little bit about this subject; I *had* a mother like you but we don't speak now, nor will we ever again. And you know what? I'm FINE with that. I don't feel a damn thing for her because she refused to accept me as I am and kept trying to force me into a mold I didn't belong in or want to be in. I hope you see this and understand that if you keep up your stupid drama you will LOSE your daughter "Kellie". If your other daughter has any sense she will stay on Kellie's side and you'll lose them both. I think you deserve it.
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China -- 0, Flesh-Light -- 1

Thursday, June 21, 2012

In a small village somewhere in China, someone came across a "mysterious" new mushroom; it had a cap on both ends, with a stem in the middle that was hollow. They got excited and called their local newspaper, who sent out a cub reporter and a photographer to do a story. The reporter also got excited, thinking she was in on the discovery of a new type of mushroom, so she did a big story and happily published it. Then the laughter began, and the paper received hundreds of calls and letters which quickly cleared up the confusion; that newfangled mushroom turned out to be a flesh-light. The paper immediately posted a retraction online, wherein they threw the cub reporter under the bus, saying:
“As our reporter was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone,” the post read. “We’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for your criticism and correction. Please forgive our oversight!”
Thanks, Buzzfeed.
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Syfy Sucks

Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Don't believe me?? THEY CANCELED EUREKA!! As if that weren't proof enough that Syfy has jumped the shark, take this epic movie for example; Pirhanaconda. Yes, I'll wait while you absorb that for a moment. The quality of this channel's monster movies has gone from 'affectionately cheesy but still watchable' to outright 'we don't give a shit & you can't make us'. I was only able to watch this crap for about the first 15 minutes--laughing wildly the whole time; in the first 5, this creature took down a helicopter (and you KNOW it's gonna happen; Syfy is nothing if not a firm believer in the horror-movie formula), a hot chick, and the pilot of the chopper. Like a flying can of people Mcnuggets. Syfy, once upon a time, gave half a shit about the special effects; now I'm convinced they've signed a deal with the devil and all the movies they produce are made by high-school film students or bored chimps. I'm fairly certain the helicopter stunt was done with Photoshop, and filmed with either: 1) a toaster or 2) this:
I had fond memories of this toy....SO. To recap, Syfy has canceled one of the best shows I've ever loved, and in return they give us as much shit as possible. Thanks a lot, assholes.
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A long-overdue letter

Thursday, June 14, 2012
Dear Evil Stepfather:
 We sure have had our differences, haven't we? I know it was unforgivable of me to hate you all those years you beat the holy shit out of my mother; all the times we ate ketchup sandwiches because you drank up all the grocery money. All the times we kids went to school with no lunch (or breakfast), and those winters we frequently had no jackets. We went 4 wonderful years without hot water because you refused to pay the bill; how we loved heating up water in a big pot on the stove just so we could take a lukewarm bath. We went that long without being able to watch TV either--although it didn't stop you from waking us up in the middle of the night (on school nights) and making us sit on the couch and stare at it; we could neither speak, move nor look at anything else but that blank screen until you got tired of the game and passed out. That was your favorite game wasn't it? 

When I got old enough for college, you refused to help ME monetarily, although you paid both my older sisters' way through college (even though they were both married), and my younger brothers too--because your business was making millions. I never said anything when you bought my baby brother a new Corvette for his first car (I got a used '78 Grenada). I just found a guy to marry and got out of there. Then came the "keep Kim away from her mother" game which continued until I finally said fuck it and just quit having anything to do with the lot of you all those years. 


When you started coughing up blood, I was so happy! I just knew you'd die soon and I could have my family back--but NO dice. You just stopped drinking and smoking which extended your miserable life 20 more years. But you know what, all these things were nothing compared to what you did to Aaron & me in 2005; see, we were living in Biloxi, MS--less than 3 miles from the coast. If we had not been invited to a friend's house the night before Katrina hit, we wouldn't have made it. So we came home to Mama, thinking surely it was ok to stay there a couple weeks until we could find somewhere else to live. But YOU told mom we'd have to leave. You didn't care that we had just lost everything. That was the last straw. We left and I never saw you again because, 5 months later, the cancer you'd been refusing to see a doctor about finally killed you.


Understandably to me, I chose not to attend your funeral, as I would not have been able to resist the urge to dance in the aisle, laugh out loud, and spit on your worthless carcass. But apparently it wasn't understandable to the rest of the family because they all disowned Aaron and me. So even though you're dead you cost me my whole family. I hope it was all worth it to you. Now every year, on February 12, I celebrate the fact that you're still dead.


HA.
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What Else Can I Do???

I am at my wit's end. Someone I love very much (I'll call her "Lucy") is being abused; she knows she should leave (and in fact, did leave recently--but went back to him the same fucking day). Now he'll never take her seriously. Lucy is tiny; "Fred" is big, strong, and an MMA fighter. On steroids. He broke her wrist last summer when he picked her up and threw her into a wall in a fit of rage. Lucy believes love will conquer all; that what is *wrong* in their 'relationship' is all her fault and that she can fix it if she tries hard enough. Fred has worked diligently to train her to believe this. The fact that he refuses to marry her? Well, that's her fault too. His spoiled-brat children hate her and treat her like shit. Lucy is a wonderful, smart, bubbly person; she could have anyone she wants, so WHY does she settle for this turd? I have known her most of my life, and we have gone through hell together; we have seen much abuse, both in her family and mine. We grew up seeing the effects of the male abuser/female submissive dynamic. We've had relationships, both of us, that were abusive. 


I got out of my last one in 2001--he hit me once and I left & never looked back. After I left is when the real shit started; stalking, driving me off the road with my son in the car, he even kidnapped him briefly. Broke into my house, took everything we owned and sold what he could, burned the rest. Every photo I had of my only child--gone. I still have nightmares about that time, even though he has been out of our lives and behind bars for 9 years. He will be in prison until 2044, paying for the things he's done.


As smart as Lucy is, I cannot understand why she stays. And I can't deal with her drama anymore. Texting me and saying how awful things are, then not hearing from her again until weeks later when everything is magically fixed again. Rinse & repeat. 


I grew up with a stepfather who thought my mother was his own personal punching bag; I will never be able to escape the memories and the baggage from it. Lucy won't listen to me; begs me not to tell anyone because (and I quote) "she would look like the biggest fool in her town". I'd rather she look like a fool with a pulse, than a pile of bones in the ground. Which is where she's gonna end up. I can't change her mind; it's her life and her choice. But I don't have to watch it. I can't remain in her life, waiting for the phone call in the night that means he's finally killed her. Or worse, maimed/crippled her. She's made her choice, and so have I. I love you Lucy. I always will.
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Don't Try This At Home, Kids!!

Friday, May 18, 2012
At first glance, you'd think these were just a couple of normal harmless rocks, right? Wrong. As a poor woman from Orange County CA found out yesterday, these are actually evil rocks. She found them while taking a nice walk on the beach, happily minding her own business. She must have thought her kids would like them, so she picked them up and placed them in her pocket. Later on at home, she was standing in her kitchen fixing lunch when her fucking shorts caught on fire. Her husband suffered 2nd-degree burns trying to get the shorts off of her; she suffered both 2nd and 3rd degree burns, right down to her hip bone in places. But that didn't end the story--as the husband got the shorts off, the rocks fell out onto the kitchen floor and the goddamn FLOOR caught on fire! What the hell kind of fucked-up rocks do they have on that beach?! The Navy has decided they will check that area of the ocean because there *may* have been some type of military activity gone awry there; in other words, what kind of shit did they spill???

It's a sad day on this planet when you can't even trust a ROCK on the ground to behave the way it's supposed to! What's next, trees eating people? Lesson kids: Sticks & stones just *might* break your bones. Or cause you to spontaneously combust.
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The Year Of The Dragon

Thursday, May 17, 2012
So 2012 is the year of the dragon...interestingly enough, it began this year on January 23rd, my son's birthday, which is also the zodiac symbol for the year he was born! And more interesting than that, the dragon is the animal that Aaron has always identified the most strongly with--he calls it his spirit animal. Amazing & spooky! I found out that I was born in the Year of the Horse--and the horse has always been my favorite animal....I think the Chinese were onto something there. It's awesome to think that we humans all started out on basically the same societal level (rocks & sticks), and we have managed to evolve and change into so many variations---with wildly different customs, languages, belief systems, etc. 

I hope this year will be the one that turns our lives around; so far it has been looking up for us. Even though our Burmese python did become pregnant by our ball python and then reabsorbed the eggs, good things have still happened. It looks like we will soon be able to move from this wretched crappy place where we've been stuck for 6 years, too. That has us more than excited--we are feeling a sense of hope for the future which is something we haven't felt in a VERY long time. I'm hoping I'll be able to have the surgery I so desperately need by the end of this year, so my health will improve. I think we've suffered long enough; maybe karma agrees.
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Happy Mother's Day---NOT

Monday, May 14, 2012
 
I began a Mother's Day post yesterday--only it was intended to be aimed at people who have a shitty mother. I knew what I was going to say and everything; but as I got into the memories, it just shut me down. For all the good mothers out there, it seems there are many more who aren't; I ended up getting all depressed and scrapped the whole thing. 

Mother's Day is painful for me now; although I myself am a mother and I've worked so hard to be the opposite of the mother I knew, still I am always reminded that I have no one to look up to who fills that hole in my heart. My mother is dead, although her body still breathes and others call her by that title. Every time I think I'm done grieving over the loss of something I now know I never really had--my mother's unconditional love--I am hit once again. I guess that pain will always be lurking, ready to make itself known.
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Women, Would You?

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
What grown woman would wear jewelry sculpted to look like food? Bitches, please.
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Game Of Thrones Recap: Best. Show. EVER!!!

Monday, May 7, 2012
*Spoilers ahead*
Game of Thrones (or as I now fondly call it, The Peter Dinklage Show because his portayal of Tyrion has totally stolen it, along with Arya) is my favorite!! Last nights' episode was great, too--I have to say that when Osha went to Theon Greyjoy to "serve" him, I was pissed at her. Seeing how he treated her last season and how he treats women in general, I couldn't understand it; then at the end, when she and Hodor escaped with the 2 Stark boys and their dire wolves? All was right in my world (until someone stole Dany's dragons, that is). Really, though--didn't all of us--who haven't read the books yet--expect this to happen? As tough as Dany is, she is still young and learning; she didn't even realize Ser Jorah was in love with her--even after that giant dude told her so. I really hated to see her faithful people murdered too; they went through hell with her and out the other side. Whoever did this will PAY though--I have NO doubt. Dany will open a can of whoop-ass on Qarth that'll make them scream for their mommies. Cannot WAIT.

The parts where they showed Jon Snow were kinda boring this week; I'm happy he gets to be a Ranger and all, and I love his character, but there is so much happening everywhere else that I wanted to fast-forward his part to get to the good stuff! I don't get Sansa, though; when Joffrey had her in the throne room an episode or two back, humiliating her in public, WHY did she not take Tyrion's offer to break the engagement?! Is it because she wants to get revenge on Joffrey & Cersei herself? I think Arya & Jaqen H’ghar (mmm sexy) will have that part covered--and the Arya/Jaqen storyline is my favorite, along with Tyrion/Bronn.

Tyrion needs to watch out--I have a bad feeling that his hidden girlie is doomed. You know Cersei is gonna fuck her up to get Tyrion back for shipping her daughter away! I'm hating it already, but man--what kind of changes will it make in Tyrion's character? Ooh, counting the days already until Sunday!!
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Let's Talk About Jack Reacher/Tom Cruise....

Sunday, May 6, 2012
If you're a Lee Child fan (as I am), you have surely heard of this story; the first Jack Reacher book, which is now being made into a movie, will star TOM CRUISE in the role of our beloved Reacher. Omg. Words cannot adequately express the fuckery contained in that one sentence. Out of the plethora of reasons why this should not be happening in our universe (see: universe-ending paradoxes), I am hard-pressed to choose the one that stands out as the most ridiculous, so here is a list in no particular order:
1. Jack Reacher is 6 foot 5 inches tall!! Even wearing his special lifts, TC  is still shorter than Reacher's shadow.
2. Jack Reacher weighs 250 pounds! TC's ego weighs more, but since egos are invisible, um no.
3. Jack Reacher is beloved the world over; kicks ass, takes names, and makes no excuses to the women he loves and leaves. TC's career is waning, he's a member of a cult, and he's afraid of vagina.
4. Jack Reacher is a supreme example of male brute strength & awesomeness (yes, that is TOO a word!), TC can't even reach the punch bowl down for you from that cabinet over the refrigerator without a stepladder.


There is a page on Facebook called "TC is not Jack Reacher"; the guy who started it is pretty pissed about this too--check it out! Although we cannot stop what has already happened, we fans CAN make a difference by refusing to see the movie with this casting. Hollywood needs to know that when it comes to this beloved book series, fans are much more discerning than those who flock to see the Twi-tard movies. We are not love-struck teens, dammit! Fans of Jack Reacher demand a higher quality of movie--to go along with the amazing quality of books that Lee Child writes. 
*climbs down from soapbox*
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Out of the Blue

Saturday, May 5, 2012
It's poetry time:
Out of the Blue

I never saw it coming 
It hit so hard and fast
Love got my world a spinning 
And blew away the past

I was minding my own business
Wasn't looking for the fall
But when I laid my eyes upon you 
I knew I had to give my all.

And finally, when you were mine
I guess I missed my cue
Cause I came home and you were gone
It came from out of the blue.

So let's don't play the blame game
It's much too late for that
But if seeing is believing
Pull the rabbit from the hat

If we could only resurrect
The love we shared before
You'd be all I ever needed
I'd never ask for more.

Sitting in this empty house
Wondering what to do 
I heard the knock upon the door
And out of the blue, it was you.
Kim B
 4 March, 2002


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Google hates me

Tuesday, May 1, 2012
I have had the same email address for years--until 2 months ago; it kept getting hacked so I went to Gmail and apparently this is where I screwed up. 

Got my new email set up using the name of our soon-to-be snake-breeding business (Angelic Herps), imported all my contacts from hotmail, and started my blog. All was well...for a few weeks. Then my perfectly capable son decided he wanted to use my email address too and that's when I knew. Google & kids just don't mix. So then I get irritated because every time I opened my email, I had to delete out his daily 19+ Facebook notifications, and his video game emails, etc. One new gmail address later--and I swear it's the last one!) and I discovered I could not import my contacts into the new account. Why? Because Gmail is the devil, that's why.

Which means I had to start my blog over again, because I'm teaching blogger to my own damn self and I still have a lot to learn. I was just becoming somewhat proficient on the old site, only to find that they're changing it up. *sigh*
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Job hunting....oh what fun!


No matter what type of work you do, job-hunting is hard; it seems like there are ever-more increasing hoops to jump through, just to get an interview! I remember when I was a teenager/young adult, there were simple one-page applications and you could be working within a week of applying. It is a very different story now. There are drug tests, physicals, background checks, credit checks--and it is very common to go through all these tests and then still not get the job, even if you pass.

Then if you DO manage to get the job, there are more dangers lurking; job discrimination, bullying, sexual harassment, worry that a co-worker might show up with a gun and shoot you. Or how about poor Debbie Stevens, who gave her boss a kidney, and the bitch still fired her for missing work!! I have come to the conclusion that this world is a very fucked-up place, and getting weirder every day.