What Else Can I Do???

I am at my wit's end. Someone I love very much (I'll call her "Lucy") is being abused; she knows she should leave (and in fact, did leave recently--but went back to him the same fucking day). Now he'll never take her seriously. Lucy is tiny; "Fred" is big, strong, and an MMA fighter. On steroids. He broke her wrist last summer when he picked her up and threw her into a wall in a fit of rage. Lucy believes love will conquer all; that what is *wrong* in their 'relationship' is all her fault and that she can fix it if she tries hard enough. Fred has worked diligently to train her to believe this. The fact that he refuses to marry her? Well, that's her fault too. His spoiled-brat children hate her and treat her like shit. Lucy is a wonderful, smart, bubbly person; she could have anyone she wants, so WHY does she settle for this turd? I have known her most of my life, and we have gone through hell together; we have seen much abuse, both in her family and mine. We grew up seeing the effects of the male abuser/female submissive dynamic. We've had relationships, both of us, that were abusive. 


I got out of my last one in 2001--he hit me once and I left & never looked back. After I left is when the real shit started; stalking, driving me off the road with my son in the car, he even kidnapped him briefly. Broke into my house, took everything we owned and sold what he could, burned the rest. Every photo I had of my only child--gone. I still have nightmares about that time, even though he has been out of our lives and behind bars for 9 years. He will be in prison until 2044, paying for the things he's done.


As smart as Lucy is, I cannot understand why she stays. And I can't deal with her drama anymore. Texting me and saying how awful things are, then not hearing from her again until weeks later when everything is magically fixed again. Rinse & repeat. 


I grew up with a stepfather who thought my mother was his own personal punching bag; I will never be able to escape the memories and the baggage from it. Lucy won't listen to me; begs me not to tell anyone because (and I quote) "she would look like the biggest fool in her town". I'd rather she look like a fool with a pulse, than a pile of bones in the ground. Which is where she's gonna end up. I can't change her mind; it's her life and her choice. But I don't have to watch it. I can't remain in her life, waiting for the phone call in the night that means he's finally killed her. Or worse, maimed/crippled her. She's made her choice, and so have I. I love you Lucy. I always will.